In the beginning when God created man, he knew it wasn't best for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). So at the vertex of his creation, woman was created. A helper as stated in scripture. A few ways helper can be described; companion, colleague, someone who assist, supports or compliments. Man and woman, one in the same, guided by God who completes that union (Ephesians 5:21). Humbling yourself, loving God and building a relationship with Him first and foremost. Trying to find someone who puts the S in US and the E in WE without loving ME first is a search in futility. A relationship with God once attained can't be broken, it completes you. The search commences to find a spouse to compliment you spiritual, mentally and physically. Physical attraction is essential but as time passes so does the physical. If you lost your eyesight would you still love the person? The spiritual and mental is what continues to flourish in a relationship. When man and woman join in union under the watch of God their spirits are intertwined. Not just their fingers as they stand at the altar. This body will deteriorate eventually but in a relationship, their is no limit to the love we can experience spiritually and mentally. We are made in the image of God, his Spirit is in us and his love has no plateau or boundary. (1 Corinthians 3:16)
Too many are making this choice on there own. We have our own characteristics of the ideal spouse. I'll refrain from making a list. Anyway, everyone we met isn't "the one." Remember everything is in God's plan. Even the husband or wife. I'm guilty of this myself, on the surface they are everything we want; just what we dreamt of and envision. Some go as far as judging against what society approves. We'll come back to this later. "God send me a good man/woman, I'm ready and your will be done." Unconsciously we are asking God to send us the good man/woman we want. And when they come along, secretly we rejoice, Amen! Be careful what you pray for. When you get what you desire and it's not what you expect, don't ask God why. Or sit and wonder why me or what did I do? You prayed to no end and received what you requested. When we pray for anything and in our hearts and conscience have your own selfish concerns we tend to experience adverse consequences (Jeremiah 17 9-10). We can't outsmart God and our decision making is subpar when God is the measuring stick (Proverbs 28:26).
Lets look at this word discernment. Discernment should be applied in every aspect of life. But for the sake of this article, discernment in choosing a husband or wife. Don't consult with those who may have a bias; friends, family, a book (Think Like A Man), the media, society, and definitely not a social network. Let God find that husband or wife. God knows so let Him search their heart (Matthew 5:8). God knows our plans and has the blueprint to our life (Jeremiah 29:11). No amount of schooling or experience from a self proclaimed relationship expert can find the mate for you that God can. God is a Spirit (John 4:24). Now you find me someone better to find you a SOULmate.
Stay with me as I detour briefly but this has to stated, same subject but in a different light. Truthfully speaking, not everyone will be married. That doesn't mean that you're not in the favor of God. You are still a child of God and he loves you all the same. As stated previously, God has a plan for you also. There is a misconception that to be happy and enjoy life fully you have to be married. Truth be told although a beautiful union, marriage will not bra stroll in the park (1Corinthians 7:28). Just look at the divorce numbers and unhappy people who are married. A myth if I ever heard one. Moreover, Jesus wasn't married, look at the life he lived. The effect he had on the world. His existence is the reason we are blessed with the grace of God. Not being married, we have more time to devote to God's plan. There are a plethora of ways to do so, just pray earnestly and let God lead (1 Corinthians (7:32-34).
Newlyweds fresh off honeymoon, bliss. Time to build this union, don't get too crazy, it's just the beginning. Man and woman are both responsible and shoulder an equal share in doing so. God created roles for man and woman. First, I would like to highlight that the Bible doesn't state that a woman finds a husband. That's why finding a wife is such a blessing incomparable and unparalleled (Proverbs 18:22 Proverbs 31:-10)! For this union to flourish, each role has to be fulfilled. Man is the head of the wife, not her master. Leading the household. c
Considering his wife in all decisions, unselfish and always having his wife's interest at heart. His role as provider and protector. Loving and cherishing her as Jesus loved the church. Giving the same love to her as he would to himself (Ephesians 5:28-29). Loving her so that he would sacrifice his own existence for her (Ephesians 5:25). That's love! God's role for a woman, the helper of her man. His companion and confidant, best friend and biggest supporter, the mother of his children and most importantly, his wife. A good wife bestows pride upon her husband (Proverbs 31:11-31). Ain't nothing like a heavy praying woman.
Rare and unique. Man and woman brought together to compliment the other. Joined together in marriage, that choice is made with discernment from God. Pure love, unselfishness, support, joy, and a foundation rooted by God. It's a truly beautiful union only completed by God.
- Chaz G. Tyler
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